Survivor

I frequent several breast cancer support groups on FB.  A question that often comes up is “When do you call yourself a survivor?”

The answer varies.  Some people feel as soon as they found out they had cancer, they become a cancer survivor.  Others would say after surgery, after chemo, after radiation.  Being a “survivor” is as individual as each person who has the title.

For me, being called a “survivor” began when I stopped wearing my lucky underpants.

Yes, you heard that right.  My lucky underpants.  Now, please get your minds out of the gutter.  I don’t mean “lucky” in that sense.

I wore the same pair of underpants for each and every doctor appointment and chemo treatment.  And yes, I did wash them between appointments.  I wasn’t like a baseball player who doesn’t want to wash his socks because the “magic” might go away.

They were teal with pictures of hamburgers on them.  Why those?  They made me laugh.  When did it start?  No idea.  Just somewhere along the way I felt better wearing that particular pair.

Everyone has their own version of “lucky underpants.”

For me, cancer was like being at Disneyland in a thunderstorm without an umbrella.  You want to enjoy the rides (life).  You put your head down and power through the rain (treatments).  You try to ignore the thunder that scares you (appointments and tests).

I’ve had a few appointments recently and have forgotten to wear my lucky underpants.  I don’t need to hold onto that talisman any longer.

For me, that means I’m a survivor.